My Behind The Scenes

        “One reason we struggle with insecurity: We’re comparing our behind-

        the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.” Steven Furtick

I saw this quote on my bloggy friend, Jenn's, recent post & it totally struck a chord with me.  I am the first to admit that I have insecurities.  It is so easy for me to compare myself to others & find fault with what I do in my life, with my girls & to my husband.  I sometimes look at my other mommy friends and think to myself that they have a cleaner house, more well-behaved children, a hot meal on the table every night, are more attentive to their husbands, etc., etc., etc.  Deep down, I know that isn't the case & they are just like me...barely getting by some days & just trying to be the best mother & wife that they can be. 

My sister's friend told her the other day that she wanted what I was taking because I always seemed so happy.  I about spit out the water I was drinking as my sister told me that.  I'll be honest, I was quite flattered that she said that about me, but it is so far from the truth.  Sure, some days everything just 'lines up' perfectly & I am in a great mood.  Other days, though, when the girls are misbehaving & driving me crazy, the house is a mess & nothing seems to be going right, I am just plain grumpy & irritable.

So I've decided to copy Jenn & give you all a look at my behind-the-scenes.  I'm just trying to be real, show everyone that my life isn't all peaches & cream & that I am human, have faults & make mistakes. Maybe by reading my behind-the-scenes, you will feel a little better about your parenting skills, your home, & your life!

* Since starting my Scentsy business, my dining room is a MESS!  We are trying to redesign the office to make space for all of my products, but for now the warmers, scents, boxes, & papers are all over the dining room table, hutch, & floor. 

* I feel like I am never able to catch up on laundry.  Getting it in the washer & dryer, and then putting it all away just doesn't happen very often.  Here is the current state of my laundry room.  And please note there is another load in the washer, plus a load in the dryer that still needs to be folded & put away.

* I almost NEVER make our beds.  Unless visitors are going to be coming into our bedrooms or right when I get the linens changed, the bed is never made.



* And speaking of bed linens, I have not changed the sheets in about 2 weeks.  Yuck!

* Some days, when I'm trying to get cleaning done or have projects to work on, the girls watch way too much television.  I justify it by saying that since they mostly watch PBS, they are learning something from these shows so it is alright that they are glued to the television.



* Marc travels a lot for work & I refuse to make elaborate meals while he is gone because the girls complain about the food, pick at it & it becomes a struggle at dinner time...NOT a battle I want to take on by myself.  So dinners usually consist of breakfast for dinner, pizza, sandwiches, & chicken nuggets.  Again, I justify the not-so-healthy foods by adding in healthy options like fruits & vegetables.  Can you see I'm all about justifying my not-so-good choices??!!   Obviously, this is something else I need to work on.



* When the girls are acting crazy & not listening to a word that I am saying, I often give them both a timeout in their rooms.  The timeouts are not necessarily for them but for me.  I am able to get away from the situation and take 5 minutes to calm down & collect my thoughts.  And usually when I go back into their rooms to talk to them & apologize for raising my voice, they give me a big smile & an 'I love you', which makes everything all better!

* I take an anti-anxiety medication called Lexapro.  My anxiety over germs, the girls getting sick, and the many hats I wear as a mother & wife were getting the best of me.  Getting on this little white pill has been one of the best decision I have ever made.

* I nag my husband & I always have to be right.  I don't know if it is my type A personality or what, but I have a hard time letting go of control.  I want it done the right way, which is my way.  This is something that I try really hard to work on, but it is also something I struggle with on a daily basis.

And there you have it, my behind-the-scenes.  A post to show everyone (including myself) that I am real, have faults, & do not have it all together.  Writing this post, I have also been able to reflect on my life and pinpoint areas that I really need to work on.  I am not perfect, but rather a work in progress striving to become a better person.

Thank you, Jenn, for your wonderful quote & post, and for inspiring me to write my own behind-the scenes!