Kennedy has been in gymnastics since last summer. She started out going one day a week & then was moved to a class that goes twice a week for an hour each time. She likes gymnastics. She loves hanging out with all of her little friends while she is there. And she likes her coach. Is she the best in her class? Nope. Not by a long shot. She is not the most coordinated little girl, but this class has definitely helped her become more coordinated & agile. And little by little, she has improved.
But she doesn't like to try in class like her other classmates do. She will do really good for a few times, & then get distracted and stare off into the other classes or start to do things half heartedly. I cannot tell you how many times I hear the coach say 'Kennedy you need to try harder' or 'Kennedy pay attention'. She just does not take it seriously. When she does give it her all, she does really well! She can do just about everything her other classmates do WHEN she tries. But half of the time she doesn't. While all of her other classmates are trying their hardest & making vast improvements with their skills, Kennedy appears to be happy staying status quo.
Last week the coach sent little sheets of paper up with the girls after class about summer classes. The paper said that the girls had improved so much that they were going to be moved into a more advanced class. I chuckled to the other moms because I knew that Kennedy was no where ready to be moved to another class. And sure enough at the bottom of the sheet it said 'please come talk to me about Kennedy'. Her coach told me that while the other girls were ready to advance, Kennedy wasn't at their level & needed to stay in the same class but move with another teacher. This new teacher is good but not as strict nor as forceful as her current coach is. I think that Kennedy does better with a more strict coach who pushes her & doesn't put up with her 'I can'ts' during class. I'm afraid Kennedy will not take this new coach seriously & think that it is play time during class, more so than she already does now.
Growing up I was involved in gymnastics. And from what I can remember, I really enjoyed it. I always envisioned that if I had girls they would be involved in gymnastics & I always hoped that they would excel at it too.
And this is where I am having a hard time...
While Kennedy enjoys going to gymnastics each week, she is not serious about it nor does she appear to want to become serious with it. To her, gymnastics is just an activity. Not a sport that she continues to get better at. And while one part of me is totally fine with that, the other part of me is sad that she will never excel at gymnastics. It's like my dream is gone.
And then I start to get upset. Why doesn't my daughter try hard like the other girls in class do? Why does she not have the desire to improve her bridges, cartwheels, or skin the cats? Why does she not care about getting any better? Is she going to be like this in anything in life that requires hard work?
*Sigh* I know that I just need to let it all go. I realize that she is only 4 years old. I also realize that gymnastics may not be her 'thing' & there are going to be other activities in her life that she wants to improve & excel at. Gymnastics just may not be one of them.
But for some reason I'm having a really hard time letting it all go.
Why am I having such a hard time with this??!!
Why doesn't my daughter try hard like the other girls in class do?
ReplyDeleteBecause she isn't the "other girls"
Why does she not have the desire to improve her bridges, cartwheels, or skin the cats?
Because she doesn't.
Why does she not care about getting any better?
Perhaps because she feels loved for who she is and doesn't feel the need to be something else. That's not such a bad thing.
Is she going to be like this in anything in life that requires hard work?
No. This is gymnastics for a 4 year old, not graduate school.
Wow! Thanks Dr. Phil Briding. That was harsh. Not sure that Jessica was looking for a full on beat down for expressing her feelings.
ReplyDeleteThere is no doubt that Kennedy feels loved for who she is, but on the other hand, it's not a bad thing for a parent to want their child to give everything their best effort regardless of their age.
Parenting is not easy and you are always questioning yourself on how hard to push or not push your children as you don't know what kind of a lasting impact going either way is going to have on them.
Can you push a 4 yr. old too hard? Absolutely. Is it possible that not pushing a 4 yr. old. hard enough is going to teach her that she isn't expected to give her best effort always? Absolutely.
So what it Jessica is disappointed that Kennedy is not going to be the next Mary Lou Retton. I think that all parents want their kids to be the best at everything that they do. Is that so bad?
It is gymnastics for a 4 yr. old. and not graduate school, but graduate school will be here soon enough and she will be much more successful there if she is instilled with the proper work ethic early on.